I'm Just Crazy
by icekweem23
Summary: Dib's waiting for someone on the night of their second month-sary... And he asks himself, why? A story not about giving up, but growing up; this is for anyone & everyone who's ever felt neglected in a relationship. Warning: CLICHES AHOY. Please R & R!


Updates:   
  
**July 19, 2004** - Took it down to change some things that I didn't think went well with the story... And to add a disclaimer to protect my lucky almost-sued butt. Hopefully this will be the last time I update, because it's getting annoying to do use the formatting tools here 'coz my laptop doesn't have MS word yet. Argh.  
  
Hey everyone, it's me again! (Ducks moose limbs thrown at him)  
  
Sorry if I haven't updated in a while... Just moved to LA; long story. So anyways... I have no idea what this ficcie here is- I made it up in the midst of a day of complete loneliness and cynicism.  
  
I apologize if Dib is really OOC here, but honestly I didn't intend for the first paragraph (which I made a **long** time ago in a mall, to expand into an entire one-shot fic... Hope y'all like it.  
  
Disclaimer: IZ belongs the Jhonen Vasquez. This story belongs to me and my mongoose. He's a cutie... Yes, he is...

* * *

**I'm Just Crazy **  
  
The air is thick (_but I breathe it all in_).  
Hopefully depressing music resonates in the background (_the soundtrack of my life_).  
These are the kinds of (_rainy_) nights you see in the movies.  
And I don't mind (_getting wet_).  
Red neon reflects off the puddles (_like electric blood_).  
This is like a waking dream (_except my dreams at night are more eventful_).  
(_I can't help notice_) everyone walks in twos and threes.  
And here, I wait.  
  
How long has it been now?  
(_So long that)_ I can't tell the tears (_on my face_) from the raindrops.  
Maybe she could. Maybe she would wipe them off.  
  
(_Or maybe_) she's right.  
I'm just crazy.  
(_Shit. I don't want that_.)  
  
Nobody was meant to celebrate their second month-sary alone. (_Doesn't that defeat the purpose?_)  
But every second I spend in this miserable mall does nothing but beg the question(_s_):  
Why am I still here?  
(_and... Why is companionship so important to me?)_  
Whatever may be the case, one thing is certain.  
This longing can't be healthy.   
  
Wait.  
Someone's coming. (_Could it be..._)  
My lavender-haired angel. (_Two hours late, but she's forgiven for that_)  
  
She's coming closer. What do I do?  
Walk up and offer her my trench coat? (_She's got an umbrella already, stupid_)  
Act like I don't see her? (_Would that be the "cool" thing to do?_)  
Shit.  
  
Why do I feel that I owe her something?  
(_That I owe everyone something?_)  
I'm just gonna lean right against this lamp post (_where I've been waiting_).  
Less confusing that way. (_And besides, I want her to know how neglected I feel right now_)  
  
I've gotta be cold. Cold and mysterious. (_I must be disciplined_)  
  
"DIB!"  
  
I look up at my beloved, smile, and my eyes light up (_like a little kid's_).  
I run towards her with absolute total abandon and stop climactically under her (_pink_) umbrella.  
  
So much for cold and mysterious. (_I am the personification of clinginess_)  
  
"I'm so glad you made it." I don't lose the smile. "Just like I promised, I got those tickets for Dead Rising IV: Forever Dusk! C'mon, the last show starts in fifteen, and I really don't wanna miss the---"  
  
I'm cut short when I try to pull her hand (_and she shakes off my grip_).   
I look back at her (_dazed and perplexed_).   
A (_simple_) boy like me doesn't know what this means.  
  
"I'm sorry... I didn't come here to watch a movie."  
  
Shock.  
  
"I thought maybe we could go shoppin' instead, ya know? Sorry, Dibby, but I was just out with my girlfriends, an' I kinda spent my allowance on my nails... Wanna see?"  
  
Double shock. But I don't react yet. (_I wanna see how far she'll take it_)  
  
I raise my eyes to give her the (_second's worth of_) satisfaction she wants. Satisfaction for having her (_so-called_) boyfriend admire the latest waste of her money. (_But as I said, just for a second_)  
  
"But you've got those tickets, right? If we hurry, I betcha we can still refund 'em before the shops close!"  
  
She looks so happy. And for a fleeting moment I'm tempted to go along with her game, to believe that her happiness is mine too. (_But I'm too damn smart for this shit. And I've put up with it for far too long_)  
  
"Nah... It wasn't easy to get these tickets, y'know."  
  
She's taken aback. Is this the assertiveness I need (_to show her_) for her to take me seriously? Are we, against all odds, gonna live happily ever after, have three kids, hang the stuffed remains of Zim's dissected Irken head over the fireplace and sing X-mas songs (_under the protective dome_) every year?  
  
"Um... EXCUUUUUSE ME?"  
  
I guess not.  
  
"Zita, I just wanna watch my movie."  
  
A sudden silence.  
  
The open-roofed courtyard we are standing in the midst of is touched by a slight chill. Across the plaza's wide floor, behind my girlfriend, a light from a queer-looking health store turns off. And as if on cue, a half dozen others from either side of us follow suit. It must be ten o' clock already. (_So I was wrong about the fifteen minutes_)  
  
My companion lifts her umbrella back as the rain slows to a drizzle. The red neon rays from a sign to my left blush off her cheeks like a telltale crimson mark of an innocent midsummer's love. Yet her face still looks cold and pale (_to me_), a stark contrast to the luminent sparkle in her enchanting violet eyes, a natural allure of hers.  
  
(_Suddenly, I don't find them beautiful anymore_)  
  
Her silence gives me time to appreciate the (_subtle_) sound of the (_drizzling_) rain. (_And, more importantly, it gives her time to think about her damn priorities_)  
  
"Oh... Oh, all right. Tell ya what... Let's just stop by Poop Dog Fashion for a couple minutes- I bet that's still open... And then I guess we'll go watch Rise of the Whatsits. Y'see, they've got this pair of jeans..."  
  
I shake my head. (_She'll never change; at least not in my lifetime_)  
It's time to act.  
  
"Sorry. I hate to say this, but... Zita, I'm going to watch my zombie movie, whether you're coming or not."  
  
"Whoa, wait, wait wait... Relax... Don't do something you're gonna regret, Dib."  
  
(_Is that a challenge?_)  
  
Time to get melodramatic.  
  
In a swift movement I pull from my trench coat a concealed package. (_A treasure I spent the better half of a week scouting for_)  
I push up my glasses and cast my (_finally_) weary eyes down upon the lovingly wrapped token of my (_naive_) affection, and watch as the raindrops that fall upon it sink into the frail wrapping (_as if to melt away the barriers I've put up to keep the truth from myself_).  
She doesn't move (_but I can see she's ready to recoil at any instant_). I drop the would-be gift at her feet, and hear its fragments break apart between us. She looks down upon it (_for a split-second_) to guess its contents. (_Like she would even care if she knew what it was_)  
  
"You didn't even remember... Did you?"  
  
"Aw, c'mon Dib. I love you. You know that."  
  
I don't know what I expected her reaction to be (_but that was definitely not it, dude_).  
Whatever. I don't know whether this is funny or painful. (_Or a little of both_)  
  
"If it wasn't such a cliche, Zita, I'd let you know that love is just a word. A doomed word."  
  
A pause.  
  
"What's a cliche?"  
  
I groan (_a little_). Now all I want are those two months of my life back. I'm more than ready to burst back into Zim's house and get his lazy ass of the couch (_so I can announce that I'm going to foil his latest diabolical plan and expose him to the world; yep, those sure were the good ol' days_).  
  
"You don't love me, Zita."  
  
"Diiiiiiiiiib!"  
  
I walk away slowly. (_Cue dramatic music_)  
  
"Do I have to remind you what I gave up to be with you? Huh? LIKE, MY WHOLE ENTIRE REPUTATION! You come back here! Come back this instant or I'll... I'll do something HORRIBLE!"  
  
I don't even think of turning around. Horrible shmorible. (_At least I have my health_)  
Without emotion I open up the Sibling Link on my wrist communicator.   
Maybe Gaz'll wanna watch Dead Rising IV with me, even if we miss the first ten minutes. (_She loves that kind of stuff_)  
  
"Fine... See if any OTHER girl will go the the junior prom with a LOSER like YOU!"  
  
Ouch. Shot down (_by the cutest girl in school_). What ever should I do?  
  
"Fuck the prom." That felt so good (_I feel like saying it again_).  
  
"YOU'RE CRAZY, DIB! CRAZY, I TELL YA!!!"  
  
Hey, maybe I am. But ya know what?  
  
I kinda like it. (_I prefer it over the alternative_)

* * *

**A/N**: A little anticlimactic _(and bitter),_ eh? I know, I know, it isn't really that angsty (_nor is it a romance_). It's just a (_very_) cynical story that reflects how I feel about my past relationships. And yes, it is a one-shot. And no, I will not continue it because I don't know where I could possibly take it. When you review (_and I hope you do_) please leave me your criticisms (_as well as your comments_). Domo arigato.


End file.
